Five ways to make friends as an Adult

Making friends as an adult is hard ya’ll! This is something I have struggled with in the many moves I have made. Its not like in High School or uni if you fell in with a group of girls you didn't overly like you easily sashayed your way into a new group. Easy peasy.

But how do you do that as an adult? Often when we move towns or countries for our careers or our partner’s careers we can find ourselves needing to find a whole new gang.

Usually, the first people you met in a new place are neighbours or colleagues. Which often are more circumstantial friendships than actual ‘lets drink ten wines on Friday night’ friendships. Circumstantial friendships can totally work don't get me wrong. You may just happen to work with a potential soul mate. READ: Soul - your being. Mate - mate. I’m a big believer in friendship soulmates, the people who come into your life and you’re in such awe of their knowing just what to say/ be to you, that you’re unsure of how you survived without their inspiration thus far? But those friends don't come along every day - sometimes you got to do the mahi. So how do you increase the odds of finding a local bestie without being a total creep?  Here’s how:

  1. Figure out what it is you love doing. If you LOVE reading - hang out at the library, see who else goes there. If you LOVE coffee - find the dopest coffee in town and yarn to the Barista. If you LOVE staying home and watching Netflix - do that and be alone forever - I can’t help you if you won't help yourself.

  2. Go to social stuff - If a circumstantial friend invites you somewhere (even if you know its out of pity) God dang you better show up once. Because what if they introduce you to someone who loves to walk their cat too?!

  3. Bail on stink mates - Take this perfect opportunity to cull your real world friend list. As I am sure you’ve heard before… you are the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with. That includes your cat. If you associate heaps with someone who feels toxic - shut that shit down. Develop new relationships in a deliberate and purposeful way to elevate your positive vibrations.

  4. Volunteer your time - Do good for your community and your community will do good for you. Imagine the cool people you could meet at the SPCA on a Sunday arvo or the Model Railway to succumb to your inner locomotive enthusiast.

  5. Don’t rely on your partner. You got this gf.

  6. Do rely on your kid. Honest to truth here but they are the easiest way to make friends. Because if you’re not vibing with them you just blame it on the kid. 

Ok sorry, that was six but that last one really spoke to me! So just get yourself out there, park up  that introverted part of you and be a bit gunny, the pay off for some good friendships will be totally worth it!

Abbe x