The Comparison Trap - how to use it to your advantage


We have all been there. You might be at the end of an unproductive day, mindlessly scrolling Social Media? Somehow we get stuck on looking through one profile or one hashtag. Our minds finding the worst parts of ourselves and comparing them to the highlight reel before us. Eventually, something gives and we stop, breathing out a long sigh of resentment. But the feeling of perceived discontent lingers, so we beat ourselves up about not being good enough. At this point, the Comparison Trap is literally eating us alive. 

I want to interrupt her for a moment and tell you what I do love about the Comparison Trap. It allows each of us to get tuned into what it is you really want - the core values you build the foundation of your life on and what success looks like to you. Extra Tip: Write that down! Put pen to paper, make it real, make yourself accountable. If having those gorgeous chemical-free cleaning products throughout your house while you swan around in your bikini with six small children at your feet is your goal - write it down, I did.

Just remember when you ‘achieve that’ by posting the most polished photo you can muster on Instagram - check in with yourself. Did that seriously make you as happy as possible? If it epitomises health, wealth and beauty for you then Yass Queen you hopefully are that and more. Not just an Instagram sized square of you.

Because you know about the power of the mind right? that at any moment we have the ability to switch our thought patterns? We can literally start thinking something new in an instant. But at some point we get lazy or overwhelmed and struggle to silence that dang inner mean girl.

Sometimes, it takes getting deep into that Comparison Trap, when you’re feeling inadequate to the Kardashians to be able to step back and say ‘hold up girlfriend! Firstly, stay in your lane. And secondly, you’re more than this’. This key moment, I believe requires a mantra. Just some simple kind words you repeat, ideally out loud, to change that voice in your head. I recommend, stepping outside feeling the grass between your toes and saying something along the lines of ‘I am enough’. For me, I go with these words from galboss author Melissa Ambrosini ‘you are beautiful, you are worthy and you are perfect exactly the way you are’. I just repeat and breathe.

This mantra quickly gets me into a headspace, where I feel more able to control my thoughts. I start then to say to myself ‘Girlfriend, if that's the best they’ve got, you know you can do better’. While I realise this is still me comparing myself to ‘them’, I do find it a great motivator. It spurs me into action, gets me revved up to tackle that next project and makes me push just a little harder at what I am trying to achieve. So that has to be a positive spin right?

Would love to hear how you get on, or if you have anything to add on the topic. Flick me a message on social media or leave a comment.

Abbe x